My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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