just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
