I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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