Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i think i have herpe
just one?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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