Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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