why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
