Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
