She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
