Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
