If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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