He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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