Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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