How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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