we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
