Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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