I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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