Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
