Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
