Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
