He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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