Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize