The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
