and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize