9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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