I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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