also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
