my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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