I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
