I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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