Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Randomize
