Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize