i'm lost and i look like a hooker
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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