I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize