people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
