yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
