just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
