dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
im six kinds of drunk right now
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
