You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I just gargled with NyQuil
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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