He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
