Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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