You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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