Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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