Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
