used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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