do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
