We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
