I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
