I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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