well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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