just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
