It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Randomize
