At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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