The maid of honor just puked.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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