Ambien. No doubt about it.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize