that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
