Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
