We won't sleep together?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
