And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
