He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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