grandma shit on top of the toilet
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
So much rum. So many feels.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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