Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
